New Job = Big Ass Fail!

It has been well over seven months now since I accepted an F/T position and stopped blogging. At the time, I had little to say and starting a new job kept me quite busy. Other than commenting on TTR and Poor Paralegal, I have little to say in comparison to someone like Nando who has been vigilant in bringing issues surrounding law schools and over supply of newly minted attorneys to light. Good for Nando! Nando rocks and so do the other scam bloggers.

It has however left me with little voice. I'm not an attorney, I'm a non-lawyer. However I'm not one of these legal professionals who view attorneys as over paid dick-heads. I know their job is difficult and the wrong decision made can result in having their career finished. Working in law made me realize law is not LA Law, Allie McBeal, Law and Order. It's stressful at times and deadlines are tight. However I do enjoy the challenges, and being part of something when a person is successfully defended in a case which his actions were not the cause of another party claiming damage.

However full speed ahead to 11 years later, I am not sure passing on law school was such a good idea. Yeah I don't have the crushing debt that law students have. Back in 1999 when I was accepted, law school was also pretty expensive back then too (sidebar: 1999 version of tuition pales in comparison to tuition today). However taking the non-JD route in law well...sucks. This is the first time I hit a brick wall.

My new boss is an utter idiot and it's shocking that he is a graduate of a T50. He knows little, no scratch that...nothing. When I first came on board, I was given carte blanche in communicating from everyone from claims adjusters, to defense counsel, to the courts and police department. Now there is hierarchy. He is the one that things have to go through. For seven months when I was doing everything, he didn't care. Now there is a shift and I do not get it. When I questioned if any tasks were carried out incorrectly, or if any info was inadvertently released, "hierarchy" is the reason. OK...I get it. I report to you, no problem. But this dude obviously lacks decorum.

The new job became the death star in less than 7 months. I managed to put things into place, only to have no credit. No chances of any promotion either. It's crushing to say the least that after arriving at a satisfactory salary, I stepped backwards to the 80's. In NY, southern NY (near NYC) $45K is nothing.

Yes I know...don't complain. Bad economy and serves you right in not going for the coveted JD. However I never thought I would find myself at a job which I had sufficient reason to leave, but I can't because the pickings are slim. This country and the legal profession are in tatters. The quality of new attorneys is alarmingly scary. From not knowing what a preliminary conference is, to have to effin' clear all e-mails, through him, I resent being micromanaged by some idiot who has less experience than me, but has the position because he is connectedand knows the right people. Is it wrong for me to feel this way while so many people would give their right arm to work again?

First day (sort of...)

Today was sort of my first day at the new job. For two and half hours I filled out paperwork, listened about the history of my new employer, and found out that NY State has some pretty funky gambling regulations.

I scoped out my new office which is pretty much a desk and an oversized filing cabinet stuck in a cramped corner, with a wee window facing the parking lot. A far cry from the corner office I had almost a decade ago and the beautiful office I worked in before being downsized. I could not help but have a sinking feeling when I saw my new office. It was small, dank, and dirty with a gross out view of a parking lot. The new job is also located in a busy, grimy, business zone located off the thruway; not exactly a pedestrian friendly neighborhood. I was also inadvertently told that one of my assignments is to help establish a records system for the department *and* (get this) I am replacing an attorney who “left” (I have no idea what to make of this).

But I shouldn't complain; I am now gainfully employed. Although I took a cut in pay, it is still way better than the $11 per hour I was making for a short time in retail. The job will be more stable than when I temped (my assignments ended with no warning), and getting a nice paycheck each week sure as hell beats filing for unemployment every damn week and hoping for my blackberry to ring.

Am I expecting more out of my first day? Not sure why I feel so forlorn right now. Not sure if I am being sub-consciously cautious in not to get my hopes up too high. Having a job I really liked and losing has been pretty rough for me. I’m not one of those X’ers or Boomers that have been downsized before. Every job I held, I left on my own accord and my move was lateral in which I increased my salary and I handled more responsibilities. I had no say in my leaving my last job. Nor did I have any say in how much I desired to earn (asking for what I made before the recession could have put me at risk in not being considered for this position).

Perhaps I am just tired. Past few nights I had some trouble sleeping. Working in retail during the holidays, I had to adjust to some crazy hours and it threw my internal clock off. But I feel...so blah. I am a real sucker when it comes to image and surroundings. I have always been a sucker for beautiful offices, fancy titles, and name plates on my office door and I am a little peeved about the salary cut (which in a way was my own doing to make me a considerable job candidate).

I know…I know. I am making much ado about absolutely nothing. Perhaps I need some much needed sleep to help readjust my attitude. I should just be grateful I have joined the ranks of the American Middle Class again.

Hired!

I made mention on a few responses on various blogs that I have recently accepted a job offer. I am in the process in waiting to hear back from my new employer regarding my background check and my official start date. I already passed the mandatory drug test just before Christmas. It's just now a matter of when results for my criminal background check and credit reports are received. Since I did not commit any crimes, do not have any pending civil suits filed against me, and I only have one credit card outstanding in which I make my monthly payments timely, I should start my new job next week.

Last year (2010) I temped, volunteered, helped close my father's business, audited some legal classes, and worked in retail while I continued to look (and to also to avoid becoming further depressed about my situation). Timing and luck certainly have everything to do in landing a job these days. I consider just snagging an initial interview with my new employer a miracle. I have no idea who my competition was. Perhaps my background in insurance law, civil litigation, and general contract administration cinched the offer? Who knows; I am just grateful that my hunt to be gainfully employed has ended on a happy note.

When I started my blog, I wanted to write about my experience in being unemployed. December, 2010 has been a whirlwind for me between job interviews, working crazy hours in retail, and moving back home. I was unable to sit down and compose what was happening. Moving back home and having to organize and unpack took up much of my free time. One thing I am happy that I did not do was throw in the towel and give up, although I was damn close in doing that. After nearly two years of job hunting, I was becoming quite disgusted with the whole process in sending resumes, having interviews and never hearing back from anyone, having two companies interested in me, only to be told the companies had hiring freezes, and dealing with staffing agencies and the unscrupulous sales people who work for them. No one knows how difficult looking for a job is until you are in that position.

I’ve heard so many platitudes and lousy advice given regarding looking for a job. I have been told countless times to network, temp, volunteer, and just take any job. I did all of that during the last two years. It all came down to luck and good timing with my recent job offer. I took the chance in sending my resume in applying for a position in which I was fortunately perfectly matched for. (In this job market, candidates have to possess 100% of the criteria the employer seeks.) I spotted the position on Indeed.com, sent my resume, and six weeks later I received a call to come in for an interview. It’s not glamorous and I don’t know what to expect. However I am grateful that finally an employer gave me the chance and did not hold being downsized against me.

I am excited about the new job, but nervous that I am re-entering the legal field in that I am expected to be perfect again. I will also be learning about a new area in law which is not widely practiced. Last few days have been spent reviewing the NY CPLR and my hornbooks so I am ready. I am also preparing to take my Notary Public license test (I actually got away without being a Notary Public for many years). It’s a small legal department, probably the smallest legal department I have worked in. I am expected to be the “hub” (so to speak) between the company, various outside counsel, and executive management. I am relieved that I will be gainfully employed again, granted that my 90 day probation goes well.

I never had the chance to blog about my experiences in temping (which was a miserable experience for me), nor when I volunteered at legal aid (which was comical and disturbing at the same time). I do intend to write about these experiences because I think some may be able to benefit from what I had experienced.

I can say that being downsized and unemployed for two years took a financial and psychological toll on me. After a while in going to interviews and sending numerous resumes, you begin to really doubt yourself. You rip apart and analyze what you had said and what you should have said during the interview. You rip apart how you look, question you age, question if you have enough of experience or even have too much experience. You start to wonder if it is too late to go back to school for another degree, or should you bother spending a great deal of money (which you do not have) to learn the latest software that only a handful of law firms in NYC use. It was a rough two years and I hope I do not have to go through another experience like this again.

I’m not sure what advice I can offer to those who are out of work other than keep trying and do not be too hard on yourself. In working at the food market where I worked at for nearly three months, I have come into contact with many educated and under-employed people. The store manager and the produce manager have MBA’s. I worked with a former sports editor for a newspaper, real estate brokers, art and music teachers, stock brokers, insurance salespeople, small business owners who lost their businesses, non-profit casualties, and recent college grads from 1T UGC’s. If anything I learned while working in retail is that this economy does not discriminate. People of different races, educational backgrounds (some with advance degrees), having prior work experience, being a recent grad, and different generations were all in the same big under-employment boat as I was in.

I know this is a really long post. My blog most likely will take a new direction once I start my new job.

Well, how about that?

The reason for my blog was to write about my experiences in being an under-unemployed legal professional. Over a month ago, I responded to a classified for a paralegal position for a casino. I didn't think I would get a response (provided the horrible market and stiff competition). This morning I received a call from HR and I have an interview scheduled for tomorrow.

I am a little nervous. This will be my first face to face job interview scheduled in months. I am not expecting a great deal of money (nor I will be making a demand for it either). All I want is something decent paying with benefits now. At this time benefits are trumping salary. I have been shelling out sheds load in Cobra coverage since last year. I pay nearly $600 per month just to insure myself. Since Obamacare was passed, my healthcare which used to cost $475 per month in 2009, ballooned to nearly $600.

I come to the simple conclusion that you are sort of forced to be a greedy bastard in America. Where I live, I am taxed four times: federal income, state income, city tax, *and* county tax. I don't see anything I am gaining in being taxed this much. Cost of living is also expensive. Between groceries, gas for my car, and Cobra, I barely have enough to pay my cell phone (which is over $90 per month). I really do not know how others make it on $11 per hour salary. However I do think this will be the new norm in America.

Giving thanks?

It's Black Friday today and I am not feeling it. I looked up my checking account today and my part time stint deposited my pay. I made $579 cleared. Not bad, the only thing is that my whopping $579 was for two weeks of work. At this rate, my annual salary will be somewhere around $16,500. Stark contrast to the $60,000 per year I had made during the last decade.

I think about everything I could have done to prevent my lay-off, but there was little I could have done to prevent it from happening. I even commenced my job search months before the official announcement came that lay-offs were definite. I always felt that although I loved the company I had worked for, the General Counsel was one of the poorest managers I have worked with. Perhaps being severely burned out in working at AIG before its melt down had a much bigger impact on me when in hindsight, there was some serious writing on the wall that my last job was not going to make the five year mark. Basically, when your boss does not have much respect for the profession that you are in, that's a big red flag waving in the wind; the paralegals were never invited to sit on meetings, never invited to participate in weekly legal meetings, budget meetings, and luncheons. The paralegals were pretty much treated on the same level as the maintenance crew. When lay-offs were called for, all three paralegals as well as an entry level attorney were all given the pink slip. But the serious cuts in the legal department could have been avoided.

What angers me the most is that lay-offs could have been prevented if the GC did not over staff her damn department and knew how to delegate. I was fine in handling contracts until the work dried up and when work was drying up, instead of hiring a damn executive assistant, I could have picked up the administrative tasks. The GC also insisted that a junior level attorney was still needed to handle agreements. This guy who was hired as an entry level attorney uprooted his family from the mid-west to accept the position. He lost his job one year latter and three months after buying a new home. The compliance manager was also clueless about licensing and pretty much the paralegal who had worked under her took care of everything. So instead of keeping the paralegal who performed nearly 90% of licensing and compliance work and cost the company less salary, the paralegal was cut and the six figure dummy (aka the Compliance Manager) got to keep her job. Instead of keeping me on in handling lower end agreements and administrative tasks, the GC also hired a part time attorney and from my understanding, the record keeping in the department has become very disorganized within the last year (I still keep in touch with my former colleagues).

I go back and forth with my current situation. I do like where I work and with the exception of the incident the other day, the job is not that bad. But I have so many sleepless night worrying about how I can continue to survive in making just $11 per hour at a part time job. Where I work, working full time is considered as a promotion, not just out of necessity. And I worry if I am cut out for the long haul. I take too long to close, I had one confrontation with a customer, and my ends just do not financially meet so far. But there is nothing. My resumes are still being sent and the temp assignments are non-existent. And I am not the only one in this place—about 85% of the store are people who have lost their jobs or have had their hours severely reduced at their primary jobs. I just pray for cooler heads to prevail once the new session in Congress starts, however I am doubtful. I think the US has seen the last of its glory days twenty years ago as a financial super power.

Pre-Thanksgiving Day Madness

Welcome to the 2010 Holiday Season! The past four days have been long and tiring for me. I have been stopped every few fee at every few seconds. I was asked to perform miracles in getting more product onto the shelves faster and being blamed for executive decisions which make no sense (such as moving product from one area to another area and not ordering enough of butter, despite that I did not even order butter).

To those of you who have to wear name tags for a living, I salute you big time! Not that I never saluted you before (or looked down upon your job), I just never realized how difficult those of you who work in retail have it. If anyone out there thinks that retail and the service industry is an easy job and that if you work in retail, you must be brainless, you could not be more incorrect. One must have nerves of steel, patience of a saint, and the inner-strength (and some serious Zen) in not to cross the line in committing assault. You have to step out of the box and think fast before you open your mouth and place yourself in the hot seat. You are face to face with the enemy—the person who is pressing your buttons in that you want to tell that person to fuck off, but can’t. There is absolutely no place to duck and hide because there is nowhere to duck and hide. No phone to hang up on an abrasive idiot and no computer to fire off an e-mail to cover your ass. Today was the day from hell for me because I had so many of my buttons pressed. My patience was tried and tested and I failed.

First off, today marked a very sad anniversary for me. Three years ago today, I lost my dad unexpectedly. Seeing elderly men shopping for Thanksgiving sort of tugged at my heart and what can I say? I really miss my father. It took me years to enjoy Thanksgiving again. My grandmother died a week before Thanksgiving, and my childhood friend died from a seizer two weeks before Thanksgiving when I was 15. Thanksgiving really blows for me. This year especially in combination with my situation in having to put up with a job which was something that I did not really gear my life and goals towards for was a bit difficult for me to properly manage my emotions. But I do have to admit: I was a bit naïve in thinking the store that I work in does not attract ridiculously nasty people as customers. However call me silly, I was proven wrong--I finally came in contact with that customer from hell this afternoon.

When I was asked to dig in this woman’s purse for loose change because that person did not want to mess up her manicure, ridiculous as it sounds, it was little too much for me to bear. I found her request a bit condescending to say the least. And she didn’t even say “please” either! “Would you mind getting my money; I don’t want to mess my manicure.” “WTF?!” I thought; is this lady serious? But serious she was, and pissed off I was at the request, I however stupidly complied. Being the shit actress that I was today, this woman took offense in not having service with a smile. She went on to proclaim there was something wrong with me in stating that my job was not hard to do in that getting money and counting money was not “brain surgery.” Well, let’s say I kind of lost it after that. Provided that I am indeed down in the dumps regarding my current work situation, that comment really rubbed me the wrong way. I told the bee-ahh-tch to “shut up” and yup…I was reported. My perfect work record of over a month was tarnished. Top it off, I was short nearly $5.00 short in my register. Damn it! Clock out time could not have come sooner for me today.

But in all fairness, I was in a pretty shitty mood to begin with. Missing my dad, having little to no money, worrying about paying Peter, but having to satisfy Paul, and having absolutely no money to prepare a proper Thanksgiving dinner for my family, really grated my nerves today, and I do feel badly that did lose my cool. I don’t like taking my frustrations out on people. Many times I have been on the receiving end in working with attorneys for many years as a paralegal. I have been subjected to verbal abuse when things were not perfect to sometimes quite unrealistic expectations. However being told that counting money was not “brain surgery” stung quite a bit. People really need to realize that other people have feelings despite that they’re on a time clock and getting paid (somewhat).
People who wear name tags for a living sometimes have these types of jobs not out of choice, nor hold these positions because they flunked out of high school either. If anything, this economy is responsible in having some of the most educated people turn to any job they could grab and hold onto. And so what if a person wears a name tag and may not have a piece of paper from some first or second tier college? That person still works hard for his/her money and deserves to be treated with respect (especially if that person is nice and polite). I never could understand why people tend to look down upon some professions. In the US, retail and customer service industry is the bottom of the barrel and I really do not get that. The work is low paying and you have to deal with all sorts of personalities, think fast, and satisfy people as quickly as possible. It’s a very demanding job that is looked down upon by a lot of people. But face the facts: you do need people to work in stores to get you food and stuff.

I am trying really hard to remain positive during an economy which has turned a lot of people's lives to shit. Today marked with my dad's passing, rude people, and the reminder of what my life used to be (that I was able to shop today), it was hard to smile. Hopefully with some much needed sleep, tomorrow's shift will be more bearable. At least I have Thanksgiving and the day after Thanksgiving off. Perhaps tomorrow will not be so crazed with so many starting to prepare for dinner on Thursday. At least I hope so. Tomorrow is another day, isn't?

Paper or plastic?

What else can I say which has not been said by others who are a statistic today? I am those one in five people today who have been downsized and displaced. It's been a long strange and sad journey for me since September, 2008 when I was informed that my last employer had to downsized. Over 1000 resumes sent, twenty three initial interviews, ten subsequent interviews, and two rescinded offers which led me to this point in my life. Discombobulated—I have no sense of direction anymore. My corporate GPS system is wacked because degrees and what you did for the past ten years mean nothing anymore. What I would give for it to be 2006 again.

Six years ago I had a corner office, my own administrative assistant, and three people reporting to me. I worked for the largest insurance carrier. Was I happy? No, of course not; I was stressed beyond belief. Working for AIG was a nightmare. I would often come home nearing midnight frazzled and crazed only to be up and dressed six hours later to go through white collar hell all over again. I would sleep at least twelve hours straight every Sunday. Saturdays were a wash for me. I always brought work home with me or I was in the office to get a head start on the new week. This lifestyle (yes you read right...lifestyle) stretched six long years for me. Then in 2006 I found the perfect job, or the company found me rather. On a lark I posted my resume on Monster.com and received a call that people only hear about others receiving. An import beer company spotted my resume on the web and wanted to speak with me.

This job was perfect. The company was near my home. Also no more suits for me--corporate casual attire! I could even wear jeans. I had the opportunity to work on contracts involving high profile events, however surprisingly; the company had a very relaxed environment. I had to give up the office, but that was ok. I still received a hefty raise. Not bad a trade in at all. I received Holiday bonuses, three weeks vacation, and came home before 8:00 p.m. almost every night. I was able to go out with my friends and go to "Happy Hour" because I was no longer exhausted from the job. It was just too perfect, and it was too perfect. I was downsized in November, 2008.

I had a feeling that something was going down during the winter of 2008. My co-workers and I had attended a seminar in which we had to come up with ways in how to streamline the department. I remember one of my co-workers commenting that we were preparing for our own corporate funeral. At first I shrugged off my co-worker's observation as paranoia. For one, the seminar was conducted out of state. Why would a company spend money on people attending seminars in paying for hotel accommodations, travel, and meals if the company had to do cut backs? However fast forward four months later, the consultant who lectured us at the seminar wanted to sit with each employee to ascertain how we managed our time. Uh-oh! My co-worker was not so paranoid after all! Since I also dealt with company contracts with special events and advertising campaigns, I noticed many events were being cancelled due to budget cuts. Co-workers who normally loved coming in to work became withdrawn and quiet. Even the senior counsel started to keep their office doors closed all the time. Managers avoided eye contact with staff. People who left the company or had retired were not replaced. After months of nail biting and speculation, the CEO finally made the announcement in September, 2008, to confirm what many already suspected, and even knew: that the company had to downsize. Only 50% of the staff would remain on board.

I was upset about losing my job because I really liked where I worked. After suffering from the loss of my father dying unexpectedly during the spring of 2008, I was not really mentally prepared to have to re-acclimate myself to a new company, new co-workers, and new responsibilities. However I didn't want grass to grow under my feet and started to send out resumes after the announcement was made that lay-offs were taking place.

At first, I was able to snag several interviews in late 2008. I even received an offer in February, 2009. However, the new job was not meant to be. I received an e-mail from HR apologizing that the company had to rescind its offer in that the company decided to hold off in hiring new staff. I had a feeling I was going to be in for a long haul. So many other companies and large law firms were downsizing its staffs during 2009. A few more interviews took place since the rescinded offer, however, I never heard back from any company or firm I had interviewed with despite sending thank-you letters and placing follow-up calls. Before I knew it, 2009 came to a close, with no new job secured. At least my severance took care of me for one year without the need to invade my 401K and savings. There was a new year to look forward to at least?

Winter, 2010, was more of the same. More resumes sent, but much fewer interviews. I was able to temp, however contrary to what the personnel agency advised me, both assignments did not go permanent. One assignment I was brought in to help the office with back log (the company just dissolved one of its subsidiaries and the office manager was straight with me about my assignment), and the second assignment, well let's say I was relieved that it did not go permanent (more on that one later). I finally received a call in September, 2010 for a position in which my role was the same as my last position. The company had a great reputation and the benefits were excellent. I couldn't give a toss about salary. At that point, any salary not below $35,000 was fine with me. When I received yet another e-mail advising me that the company decided to hold off in hiring new employees, I knew that if I continued with my job hunt, I would most likely become a 99'er.

Two days after receiving an e-mail from yet another company telling me that it was not hiring, I started submitting applications to everywhere that was hiring. This included companies like Walgreens, Pathmark, Shop-Rite, Stew Leonard's, and CVS. When I received an apologetic e-mail from Stew Leonard's thanking me for my interest in working there, but there were no positions available that I seemed fit for, it dawned on me that I had a very big strike going against me for these types of jobs. I held two degrees—I was way over qualified to ring up customers and pack groceries and items. Fortunately for me, one of those stores did not seem to mind that I possessed additional degrees since I graduated from high school. I advised the store manager that I could work up to 35 hours per week, and I was available any day, and any shift available. I was given my name tag, two shirts, and a start date and was told I would be trained for two-three weeks. I was hired.

Grateful? You bet! Happy? Well…yes and no. I never imagined myself at the age of 32 to be asking people if they wanted paper or plastic. No, I do not think I am better than anyone else, and no, I never looked down upon people who worked in retail for a living. I had worked in retail while I was in high school and during college. It's not really easy work and you have to have patience in dealing with odd personalities on occasion. You also have to be responsible in dealing with cash transactions, know your inventory, and always remain calm and polite. It's just that you would think after clocking in years in the legal profession and in corporate America, it would mean something to the people interviewing you.

I sent out over 1000 resumes since September, 2008, and interviewed with 21 companies and two law firms between December, 2008 and September, 2010. It just seems that experience and education are worthless if there are no jobs available. At this point, I have no idea what to expect and where my life will go from here. I am clueless despite years of careful planning. I was always asked during several interviews where I saw myself in five years from now in which I had a snappy answer: I either saw myself in management, or doing this, or doing that. I can't even answer that question now.